March in the Desert is traditionally a great month.  The weather is almost always perfect with moderate temperatures and clear skies.  The tennis tournament in Indian Wells is a fun event showcasing the best players in the world.  However, while watching the 3rd set of the tennis finals with Nadal vs del Potro in a close match in Indian Wells last year, our world came crashing down around us.  During a side switch in the match, my wife was listening to a message from one of my son’s friends while I was suddenly getting a call from the Palm Springs fire department.  

Suddenly, we were experiencing every parents’ worst nightmare getting the call that our 17yo son had just had a skateboard accident and was not conscious.  He was being rushed to the trauma center at Desert Regional Medical Center and we needed to get there as soon as possible.  While fearing the worst, we were hoping for the best.  On arriving at the trauma center, we were rushed back to see him.  He looked strangely peaceful with little evidence of any injury immediately visible.  However, the news could not have been much worse.  Being a physician, I understood the severity of the injury but was not ready to accept it.  How could a fall backwards from a skateboard result in an irreversible brainstem injury?  I know that injuries can be unpredictable but why Greg?  Why us?  He was a popular intelligent high school senior looking forward to graduation and anxiously awaiting his college acceptance letters in the next week.   We knew he was a good kid and we counted our blessings that we were fortunate to have two wonderful boys.  However, over the next week gathered in the intensive care unit with his friends, we learned even more what a special person he was and how he inspired others.  He was very bright but very popular.  He was lucky that school came fairly easy for him.  He would help his friends with calculus and was always a great resource for others.  However, somehow he was as cool as they come rather than being considered a nerd.  He truly brought out the best in his friends.  We sat with him for a mind numbing week in the intensive care unit.  Our lives flashed before us as it seemed that everyone we had ever known visited (which I think actually helped us).  His classmates gathered around his bed telling heartwarming stories and singing.   They even brought in a guitar at one point.  The whole experience was surreal but the outpouring of love for our son Greg was incredible.   I understand his funeral with almost 2000 people attending was one of the largest ever in the Desert.  This was an outpouring of love for Greg and our family.  I felt this was the closest one could get to actually physically attending one’s own funeral as almost everyone I had ever known was there.  My entire life flashed before me.  

They say time heals but this has not been my experience yet.  We are gratified that Greg was a happy kid and an inspiration to his friends.  I know we were great parents and we have such good memories of our many family trips and experiences.  We were so looking forward to seeing Greg live his life, go to college, and eventually raise a family.  In his brief 17 years, he had such a positive impact on others.  We will never know what he might have contributed to this world.   Greg lived each day to its fullest and was kind to others.  He had an unusual charisma which attracted others.  

Our oldest son Matt was 27 months older than Greg.  They grew up to be be the best of buddies.  Gregory I think matured faster since he had to keep up with his older brother and his brother’s friends.  They had so much fun together.  We so treasure now the many trips we took as a family.  These wonderful trips bonded our family.  As there are so many responsibilities and distractions in our daily lives, a trip makes for quality family time.  Matt gave us the best gift at Christmas.  He sent E-mails to Greg’s friends and teachers and put together a wonderful book of stories illustrating Greg’s spirit and influence on others.  I will describe and excerpt some of the stories below to illustrate how special our son was.  The first one is from his beloved water coach Pavol Valovic: each other so much.  Thank you Greg for changing our lives.  

In the same vein,  the Palms Springs High School tennis coach sent a wonderful letter after Greg’s accident describing the impact Greg had had on his team.   Although tennis was not Greg’s main sport,  this  coach of the opposing team noted the fun and comraderie Greg and his partner had while playing doubles.   They truly enjoyed the game.  They exhibited the joy of sports while demonstrating true sportsmanship.   The coach talked to his team after the match and emphasized the fine example Greg and his partner exhibited as part of a team.       One of his friends wrote that the week before his accident, he was talking to her about leading Kairos, a Jesuit school retreat.  She wrote the following:  “ Greg said he had no idea what he was going to talk about because often times Kairos speeches are about overcoming obstacles or personal struggles.  Greg said “My life has been great.  My family is amazing; my parents are together, nothing crazy has happened.  I have great friends.  I love my dogs.  I just have an amazing life.”  He was beaming when he told me this and I felt so blessed to hear him be so truly grateful for everything and everyone in his life.   It is gratifying to know that we were the best parents possible to him and helped make the exceptional individual he was in a life cut short.  However, he loved life and lived everyday to its fullest.  We can learn so much from him.   We miss Greg so much.